without/before you/and on

Too suddenly, it all falls away –
The nonsense of knowing and needing and numbness of daily dirt –
Like petals. Soft, softer, silent.
Without knowing, we rebloom. Different but the same. The roots now fed with new light and shadow, the veins coursing with foreign contents.
When you get down to it, there is all or nothing and there is dancing freely in the space between. There is falling down, overcome, and there is sitting still – just… don’t know.
At the ends of these fingers, I have found life again and again, pointing and pressing and resting – these nail beds imprinted with sleepers, so familiar, mine to share.
How do I know I’m on the right path – ever? Because it keeps falling away, those petals and coats, and because my heart is home and filled with you.

-Katherine Cota MacDonald, 2020