RAINBOW BABY

This baby in my belly will be a rainbow baby when they arrive.
We didn’t plan to get pregnant, we didn’t try.

I had just started to accept the transition of my children needing me less.
I had started looking forward to getting back to art-making, a creative practice, and more body autonomy.
To my breasts finally, after 7 years of breastfeeding, getting smaller again.
We thought it was so unlikely at my age and with recent health issues, and we found out at the start of a global pandemic.

This pregnancy began with a sense of panic, of disbelief.
We waited a long time to tell the kids.
I had a sub-chorionic hemorrhage that lasted until almost 20 weeks, constantly worried I was miscarrying like I did the last time at almost 12 weeks.

We debated on whether we could handle another baby. 
What if this baby had the same health issues our first one had? Could we go through that again? The hospital stays, the daily therapies, the stress and uncertainty. 
Would it be fair to our children who are already here? 

We decided we wanted to take this magical ride on one more time. 
We told the kids. 
The hemorrhage finally got absorbed (as they do most of the time).

We plan to birth at home like we did last time

I decided to document this pregnancy regardless of its outcome out of which was born the Pandemic Pregnancy Dances!

Here we go. 

Love to all the rainbow babies and their parents everywhere. Such a wild ride.