We are in the home stretch and I thought it might be a good time to talk about why I started this project, Pregnant Pandemic Dances.

Sometime after we lost our last pregnancy at 11 1/2 weeks and at 42 years old, I’d come to terms with the idea of my family consisting of two children,
embracing it in fact,
enjoying the stage of life we were all in,
witnessing my kid’s growing independence,
falling in love with their personalities and quirks,
and getting excited about more of my own independence and body autonomy
as my daughter at almost 4 years old,
was phasing out of breastfeeding altogether.
I was slowly getting back to a creative practice,
to dancing again.
That’s not to say that plenty of people don’t continue their dance and art careers while also parenting young children.
Plenty do.
My life had just become so full when I became a parent,
of illness and death,
moving and birth,
loss and finding ourselves anew.

And then came the spark of inspiration to help others navigate their own challenges, based on my experiences and struggles, trials and tribulations, and education and experience of birth, parenthood, healing movement, and holding space.
And it took precedence over everything.

But there was an intrinsic part of my self that was missing,
a key part of my identity unexpressed.

I’d recently started working on some movement and writing material surrounding motherhood, thinking I finally had the time to look back and reflect.

And then when I found out I was pregnant, there was shock
and a tiny spark of disappointment buried in the excitement and incredulity. After a recent cancer scare, there had been talk of a hysterectomy, to be scheduled soon,
so I was truly and utterly unprepared for this new development.
And then a pandemic.
Taking the joy and community support I’d worked so hard to build for others and stealing it from this last, surprise pregnancy.


And then I remembered who I am.
How I heal and process.
And that art making and dancing can coexist with the creation of a life.
And that art can heal others too.
And so here we are.

#37weeks